Thursday, May 19, 2011

it's thursday....

and i am still in one piece, but barely.  this week has panned out as i had projected--challenging, exhausting, and stressful.  tuesday night, after a superbly long day at school, i slipped and fell in the alley way to our house.  imagine petri dish for all kinds of bacteria and germs.  i got up and limped to our stairs where i was greeted by our neighbor, N.  she is amazing and runs the little shop in our alley.  she took all my bags and helped me up the 64 steps to our apartment.  she informed me that paul was out and helped me make sure i was not gushing blood or anything serious going on that i could not see.  it looked as if i just had a few scrapes, but my clothes were covered in gross dirt/mud.  N left me to take a shower and clean myself and she went down to get J.  J came in and wanted to make sure i was okay.  when she arrived i started to bawl......i was so upset and the fall was just the icing on the cake to an already challenging and tiring day.  J and N left and i got in the shower where i really cried and just stood there.  paul arrived home, instantly asking if i was okay since he saw J and N on the stairs.  i cried and cried.  i stood there having an "i hate living here" moment.  i cleaned myself up, poured rubbing alcohol over my scrapes to make sure all and any germs were dead, and had a nice, frothy beverage.  i went to bed shortly there after in hopes to just get some much needed rest.

it's now thursday and i am still moving, but this week seems never ending and nearly impossible.  praying for the strength, patience and endurance to get through this weekend.  

Monday, May 16, 2011

this week ...

is going to be tough to say the least.  at this very moment, i am frustrated, overwhelmed and wanting to throw in the towel.  there are days in which i could live simply....stay at home, hang out with jesus, listen to worship music and just be.  be a wife and a friend.  i am tired of dealing with all things school--the adults especially.  my kids are great, but it breaks my heart when others drop the ball and i am not prepared well enough with details to help them be successful.  maybe i should work like a mad woman doing my job and everyone elses, but i can't.  it's not physically possible.  i need others to hold their end of the stick up so we can all do this together.  i am reminded of the quote, "it takes a village to raise a child." okay, i get that, but some people in this "village" are not doing their part and it makes life for everyone harder.  i have a million things to do this week and the current mess is not something else i wanted to deal with.  when i speak up, i am heard, but that is as far as it goes....nothing changes, no one is spoken to, instead i end up being the "bad cop".  how fun is that?  it sucks.

the only thing that will get me through this week is the verse from Hebrews 12:1-3--"...let us throw off everything that hinders us and sin that so entangles us.  And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.  For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.  Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.  NIV

>>gulp<<  so i guess with THAT perspective i will make it through this week.  i can endure all this day to day junk and make it to friday without losing heart.  i do have to say though at this moment it feels almost impossible.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Countries I have been to.....

Here's my list....
South Korea
Cayman Islands